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100,000

by - 1:15 PM

Warning: Overly sappy post ahead

100,000 subscribers. I've tried to draft this an embarrassing number of times over the last couple weeks, and every time I've literally been at a loss for words. Probably because I never...ever thought I would be here. 

Two years ago, after I had just gotten back from living in Jordan, I was sitting at lunch with my mom eating pizza, and she asked me if I was going to keep up with the whole "Beauty video making thing", as my family likes to refer to it. I wasn't sure. That year in Jordan was the hardest but most rewarding year of my life. My values and identify were constantly being challenged, and I was taking showers out of a bucket. Makeup was probably the last thing on my mind. Falafel was definitely up there though. 

I came back to the US, and had a really difficult time getting back into Youtube. I wasn't sure if I even cared about makeup, or if I should be spending my time making videos, when there are so much more important things going on in the world. Real things, things that make an impact. 

I began making videos again, and began falling in love all over again. Not so much with makeup (don't worry, my love affair with makeup has since returned) but with you all, and the whole experience of being on Youtube. After I put up the video on how to love your pale skin, my inbox was flooded with messages from teenage girls sharing their stories of being bullied, and not loving themselves, or their skin because of it. Not just people with pale skin, but of all different skin tones and in different countries. I realized that there are different ways to make an impact. 

Being on YouTube these past 3 years has been unreal. I never anticipated what this has grown into, the friendships I've been able to make, or true gratitude that I feel toward you all. It is pretty amazing being able to connect with people all over the world, and get to know you guys. I know a lot of your names and thumbnail photos by heart (I know, creepy), get to see your pretty faces on Snapchat, and love reading all of your comments and messages every day after work. 

Not gonna lie, between graduating college, starting my career, and continuing to grow my YouTube channel, this past year has been a GRIND to say the least. My "weekend" consists of Saturday morning, and when I get home from working a 50 hour week, I hop on the computer to answer emails, respond to comments, edit, and get videos scheduled for the week. Even though my social life has gone to shit (working on this), Tinder dates have steadily decreased (also working on this), and "me time" now consists of me drinking Corona and chillin with iMovie, I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel so lucky that I have two jobs that I truly love, and that I have a community that keeps me going. 

I feel so thankful every day for having all of you, and truly appreciate your endless support, comments, advice and love. You all are the backbone to this. I hope you know and appreciate that as much as I do. 

xx





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8 comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. My daughter started watching your videos about a year ago. She is also a pale princess with a love for makeup. In her almost 19 years of life, she has endured a lot. One of the worst times of her life was during her years in school. She was severely bullied, and since the school system chose to ignore the bullying, Melissa (my daughter's name) and I decided that homeschooling would be best for the remainder of her school years. She recently graduated from high school via homeschooling and also wants to pursue the "Beauty video making thing". You have inspired her so much Taylor. I subscribed to your channel several months ago because I wanted to see who this person was that my daughter thought so highly of. I see the same things as she sees in you. You are so beautiful inside and out. I am telling you all of this because over the past year I have watched Melissa come alive and embrace who she is as a person. Honestly, I wasn't sure a year ago if I'd even have her today. Melissa was in such a dark place in her life. Depression and anxiety were devouring her. Today, she has hopes and dreams. Thanks for not giving up on makeup or YouTube after Jordan. Along with her passion for makeup and inspirational people like you, I have a daughter who is loving life, has goals for herself, and is driven by her passion for makeup. Congratulations and thank you from an appreciative mom, a subscriber, and a fellow lover of makeup. Love from South Carolina, Tara McLean

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  3. That's so awesome! Thanks for making videos and congratulations!

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  4. What a great and heartfelt post! Congratulations girl!!!! You deserve it! xoxo

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  5. Congratulations!
    love watching your videos and the message you send is genuine, you deserve all the praise you get and more! Keep at it x

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  6. I am a new subscriber. I subscribed about a month ago I believe. I am very fare and I have been called ugly, goastly, and Casper millions of times in my 21 years of life it has taken a lot to feel beautiful I still don't completely but you are inspiring to me. I know you hear it all the time. But thank you so much for your videos.

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  7. Hi you have inspired my daughter how to use brushes and makeup etc she always wants to buy makeup so I tell her wait for your birthday but sometimes we don't celebrate her birthday because family think for example death so I am so happy u got that out of her mind because she was so sad after and during this happened so you taught her every makeup step and I am so proud of you and my daughter thank you so much for all of this I just hope she wins and she has been the biggest fan of you in her closet it has pollsters whatever U have done made a YouTube you inspired my daughter to make a YouTube channel thanks you so much

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